It’s often challenging to convince your loved one to listen to and understand your concerns. Underlying their refusal to accept help is the worry about losing control. We need to approach our loved ones with respect for their independence and dignity. A few helpful strategies:
- Pick your battles and focus on those issues of true concern.
- Find a good time for everyone involved and a comfortable place where your loved one feels secure to have “the talk.”
- Emphasize your understanding of your loved one’s need for control as well as your concerns for their health and safety.
- Perhaps identify another trusted person such as a physician, clergyperson, etc. that your loved one might listen to.
That said, even if you do your best and still meet with resistance – and if your loved one is cognitively capable – we may have to respect their right to make a bad decision, and plan and wait for the crisis that will enable you to take appropriate action. We can help you to strategize how best to approach your resistant elder and how to plan, even without cooperation.